Food

Fortnum & Mason is selling same sex couple cookies for Valentine’s Day

Fortnum & Mason is selling same sex couple cookies for Valentine's Day
These guys look very tasty (Picture: Solent)

If you believe in the bible’s creation story, then you will know that Adam and Eve basically ruined everything, all over an apple.

Like apples aren’t even a good fruit, what the hell is your problem, guys?

Anyway, because these two were seen as the first ever human couple, religious homophobes like to use the ‘Adam and Eve, not Adam and STEVE’ argument, however they are willfully ignoring the larger issue at play in that we are all children of incest and related, therefore dating our relatives.

Anyway, that was just a cute little back story for you, you incestuous hound, because fancy London department store Fortnum & Mason has launched cute creation-themed couple’s biscuits for Valentine’s – and they’ve included LGBT couples.

Right on, F&M!

The biscuits come in a tin and feature either a heterosexual couple, a lesbian couple, or a gay male couple, along with a tree with that wretched serpent that ruined everything,and that bloody bit of fruit.

Fortnum and Mason LGBT biscuits
You get five biscuits which works out at £3 a biscuit (Picture: Fortnum & Mason/Solent News)

The biscuits are made from gingerbread and are ‘delicately hand-iced exclusively for Fortnum’s’.

Not sloppily hand-iced, you see – delicately hand-iced.

Probably by an real-life artist.

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They’re peddling them as the perfect romantic gift for Valentine’s day.

I mean, sure, they’re the perfect gift if your lover likes biscuits, naked people, and snakes.

(If they like snakes, they should try Tinder once your relationship has died a death.)

Fortnum and Mason LGBT biscuits
Oh look, a nice tin (Picture: Fortnum & Mason/Solent News)

The biscuit tins cost £15 for five biscuits, which works out at £3 per biscuit (hello, hi, B grade GCSE Maths coming into its own here).

Now, that’s an awful lot, but the biscuits are very intricately decorated, and that takes time, doesn’t it? It does.

Buy the Adam and Eve, Eve and Niamh, or Adam and Steve tins over at Fortnum & Mason if you fancy.

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